This weekend was full of firsts for me. My first Easter on
one leg.
Big events really haven’t been my cup of tea since my
accident. Probably, why I forgot that this was easter weekend. I finally
realized it Thursday night. I was panicking, trying to look up Easter stuff for
the kids, that would be here in time, but nothing would arrive till Monday or
later.
The struggles, of not being able to just get up and go to
the store yourself.
I knew my parents would be here this weekend, and I should
be able to get them to take me to the store. No point in stressing what you can’t
control, I guess.
April 15th:
Friday was a day I have been looking forward to all week. I
purchased tickets to see the movie, Fantastic Beast: The Secrets of Dumbledore.
I loved Harry Potter growing up. My daughter shares that love of them with me.
I was excited to see the movie, but I have never been to the movies while
handicapped. I wasn’t sure what to expect, it to be easy, or nerve racking.
Either way, tickets were bought, and Bray was already expecting
to go. So, as soon as Bray got off the bus; Bray, Meg, and I went to the theater.
When we got there, I remembered that my handicap sticker was
in my husband’s car, so no handicap parking.
Meg dropped Bray and I off at the front of the theater while
she parked the car. While we were waiting on Meg, Bray decides to tell me how
she always has feared falling asleep in the movies. Her fear is that she would fall
asleep and who ever she’s with would just leave her.
“Why?”, I asked.
“I don’t know”, she
said, “But, I don’t have that fear anymore, now I just fear dying.”
Trying to think of the best way to respond, the only thing I
could think of is, “That’s a very common fear to have, I believe everyone has
this fear at least once ...” Bray interrupted with, “I mean if I get shot in my
sleep that’s fine. I just don’t want to be shot when I’m awake.”
That was very dark, but completely understandable. “I don’t
think you're going to get shot baby.”
“You never know mom.”
That is very true, we don’t expect half the stuff that
happens to us, to actually happen. I can’t help but believe this fear stems
from my accident. I can understand why, it wasn’t just my life that changed
that day but hers as well. She could have lost her brother and I, all while
sitting at school not a care in the world. It’s traumatizing, and we need to
talk about it when she is ready.
For now, we grabbed our snacks for the movies and sat down. It was pretty simple to get in and figure out where to sit. Just no access to different levels, which is a bummer, because I love sitting at the top. Other than that, it was a pleasant experience.
The movie, overall, was incredible. I really enjoyed it. But, like
Meg and Bray, I was confused. I couldn’t figure out why, I mean I went to the
restroom during the middle, but I was confused who these people were from the
beginning.
It wasn’t until we arrived home and was speaking with my
sister about the movie; that I was informed, this is the 3rd movie
of a series… (feeling dumb was an understatement) Bray and I laughed for hours
about that.
All and all, it was a beautiful day, full of laughter, and
fun. Just getting to leave the house is a fun day for me, but enjoying the time
with bray was even better.
April 16th:
Saturday, was an early start to more mother and daughter
time.
For the first time sense my accident, I got to go watch bray
help at a local non-profit, with painting.
Giving when and how you can to help those in need, has been
something I have tried to encourage upon her since she was little. We make
cookie and treats for the local fire departments at Christmas time. Toys for
tots, can food drives at school. She once was able to participate as a fashion
model for my home town to help raise money for Breast Cancer Awareness.
Today, I watched her take lead and help other paint this chapel-sized room. She did it well, and almost with no complaint. She started to become tired towards the end, but she fought through it and really put in some work. I could not be anymore proud of her, then I was watching her covered in paint sitting in the floor helping for a good cause, on her Saturday morning.
And of course, I could not just sit by and watch, I had to
participate as well.
We talked while we worked. I thought about what she had said
the day before, being scared to die. I felt like this was a good time to touch
base on that fear.
“Bray, do you fear dying, because your scared of how you will
die, or because of what you have yet to do?”
“Well, I am young”, she said. “I don’t know why, just know that
it scares me.”
“One day we will all pass away, its inevitable. What’s scary
is sitting around in fear just waiting to die. There is so much in this world
to do, and see, people to meet, things to try. Most people don’t live fully out
of fear. Do you feel this way?”
“I’m scared to do somethings because I don’t want to get
hurt, I guess.” She responded.
“Don’t be scared to
live, because your scared of dying.” I told her, and she smiled. For a second,
I thought she understood, till she turned from me and said “well this is weird!”
I guess that talk is still too soon (lol), and I will just
have to lead by example for now. Later on, we discussed the story behind Easter,
and the sacrifice made on Good Friday, resurrection, the whole story. Explaining
John 3:16. I offered to take her to church if she would like to learn more, and
she agreed.
Guess we will be looking into finding a church.
Kids I swear, are
amazing, so smart and talented. They are a blessing, but also the greatest
challenge I have ever come across.
The rest of the day we spent shopping; we went down the entire strip mall by our house. We went to Michael’s, TJ Maxx, Target, Publix, and finished it with dinner. It was a wonderful day with her. It has been so long since we have had a girl’s day, July, I believe. We have done things here at the house (Movie night, coloring, reading) but, not a girl’s day out. It was very much needed.
April 17th:
Easter day, was spent with family, eating dinner, very small
and non-traditional, we did not do an egg hunt, since I forgot. Luckily, I was
able to find a few things to get them from the Easter Bunny, while shopping on Saturday.
All that running around, this weekend really wore me out,
Sunday was a battle just to keep my eyes open.
I still some how managed to conquer hopping up some stairs! I
was very careful with my hand placement and paying attention to my foot and
where I was hopping to. Just like that I made it up into my mother-in laws
house, and not by scooting up the stair on my bottom (which by the way is kind
of embarrassing to do).
When we left to go to my moms, I hopped back down as well.
I will say I don’t think my body was fully ready for all of
that, just yet, by the pains I am feeling today. Non-the-less I did it, and I
feel way more comfortable about getting around, anywhere really. I found I can
pretty much make a way for just about anything to happen.
If you have followed me since day 1 of this challenge, I
started myself on (some of you have even joined me), you know something else I
have wondered with this challenge is, if this positive mind set and getting up
and doing more, will actually help me with healing. Well, let’s just say that
last night after the shower, I noticed there is a big change in the healing of
my residual limb. I believe it is helping, and I am excited to see what it looks
like on the last day. I may even share it with you all.
Getting to get back to living like I have, has been the cure
to so much. I am very blessed, and thankful. I can’t wait to see what the rest
of this month has instore for me.
Until next time!
Ps: Still trying to master the crutches, getting better, but
still too unsteady.
Challenge Tracker:
1) Cleaned
the living room
2) Dishes
while standing
3) Yard
work (cleaning out flower beds)
4) Started
a Blog
5) Used
Crutches
6) Laundry
7)
Cooking
8) Grocery
shopping/ in stores
9) First
awkward moment in public (handled like a champ)
10) Spent
the afternoons at a house other than my own.
11) Met
my first Blog fan.
12) Sanded
and painted a house (living room and hall way)
13) First Movie Theater experience
14) First Mother/Daughter outing
15) First volunteer service since the
accident
16) Hopped up and down stairs
NO LIMB-ITS CHALLENGE:
Find at least one thing,
just one. (Can be more, but not less) that you are either struggling with or
learning something new. Try it and, make it happen this month!
No excuses, No LIMB-ITS!
Then share! You will be
amazed how Contagious, your own strength and motivation, truly is!
Build yourself, improve
yourself, Believe in yourself!
Because at the end of the
day, our happiness is our own responsibility!
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