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The Leg I Have Been Waiting For..?!

        The decision to amputate my leg, came as a challenge. To describe it would never bring my feelings to justice.           For months, I contemplated what life would be like with and without, one  of my legs, I have only relied on my entire life! There was pressure, not really anyone twisting my arm or anything like that.     It was TIME...  Imagine sitting trapped in a bubble, you can see you can talk but you can't move... you can't do anything. so you just sit and you watch... EVERYDAY. You watch your friends going on amazing adventures. You see your loved ones get up get dressed head to work/school... and you just stay... in the same place as the days before, for weeks on end. You miss game days for your child's sports team, the celebration of your friends having babies, the events you planned so hard for. Just wasting away, almost non existent. I kept thinking to myself. "This must be what it ...
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NO LIMB-ITS CHALLENGE- FINAL DAY!

  April 30 th ,2022   August 4 th , 2021, I packed Bear up (Bearren, 4-month-old at the time) in the Hummer and headed into town to pick up some formula. It was 10:03am when I left the house and at 10:10 am, my life changed. The last thing I saw behind a wheel of a car, was a Camry flying towards me, in my lane, then just smoke and airbags. This was the last time I was behind the wheel of a car… until today. That’s why this post is so late. I didn’t know how I felt, or how I did. I didn’t know how to put this experience into words. And honestly, I still don’t… The days before doing this, my anxiety grew at the anticipation finally trying to drive again. The morning of, I almost puked. But after an emotional breakdown to my husband, the weight of anxiety and the fear had eased. We talked for hours about how different life had become, and the fears and obstacles this event had brought us, but we are still here, we are still fighting, and we are making it happen...

NO LIMB-ITS CHALLENGE -The Waiting Game!!

  April 21st, 22 nd and 23 rd : This challenge to me was all about seeing what I could actually do, if I just tried. Changing the what ifs into I can(s), and seeing how changing my activity level and mind set, could possibly promote healing (physically).   So far, almost everything I had laid out for this month has happened, and I have managed pretty well. But the things I wanted to accomplish later this month, as in now, is a little more complexed, and health wise according to my doctors I can’t do until after I am healed from my next surgery. I found out Thursday going to a gym and lifting weights, or anything other than just walking I am not allowed to do. NEWS FLASH!! I can’t walk yet. When I informed my vascular nurse of this, she felt dumb and realized, that was stupid to suggest. This is what it looks like on the backend of healing from a surgery that impacts your life the way amputation has. Waiting… Lots of waiting, and hearing the word NO, a lot...

NO LIMB-ITS CHALLENGE Day-19!!

  April 19 th : Since the day I started to even phantom the thought of chopping my leg off, I tried to out way the positives and negatives. I would hope everyone would really look into something of this magnitude, before making a decision. I mean it's not like trying a wild nail color, or even dying or cutting your hair, the car you are going to buy, or even buying a house. This was removing a body part, a piece of myself FOREVER! Not like hair that will grow back, just GONE! I poured into months of research, not to mention, loads of self-searching. A lot of info and a lot of possibilities, and what ifs. I seen what my next year or two could look like trying to fight and save my leg. I also looked at what my life may look like if I went through with the amputation. And what did I find? Well, more possibilities and what ifs! Because there was no way of truly knowing what was going to happen. I mean not many people are faced with that decision, right? I mean, mayb...

NO LIMB-ITS CHALLENGE- EASTER WEEKEND!!

  This weekend was full of firsts for me. My first Easter on one leg. Big events really haven’t been my cup of tea since my accident. Probably, why I forgot that this was easter weekend. I finally realized it Thursday night. I was panicking, trying to look up Easter stuff for the kids, that would be here in time, but nothing would arrive till Monday or later. The struggles, of not being able to just get up and go to the store yourself. I knew my parents would be here this weekend, and I should be able to get them to take me to the store. No point in stressing what you can’t control, I guess. April 15 th : Friday was a day I have been looking forward to all week. I purchased tickets to see the movie, Fantastic Beast: The Secrets of Dumbledore. I loved Harry Potter growing up. My daughter shares that love of them with me. I was excited to see the movie, but I have never been to the movies while handicapped. I wasn’t sure what to expect, it to be easy, or nerve rackin...